My So Called Sitcom

After a Christmas holiday filled with a little too much "How I Met Your Mother" (thanks Netflix) I found myself sitting awake after an incredibly bizarre dream placing me as a show extra.

As the chaos of the show swirled around me, my role was of a coworker to one of the characters, in an awful office where said character was on the brink of quitting. The weird thing was, although there were lights, camera, action, the actor seemed to be really struggling with the decision and not acting at all. During a break I snuck her aside and said "Hey! Robyn! I know this might sound crazy, but this isn't actually real life. You're the main character on a TV show I watch" and since that news didn't blow her mind, I continued "I just want you to know, I've seen what happens next season and you should absolutely quit here! I promise, better things are coming up for you." That's where the dream ended and I sat up in bed.

Can someone - anyone - please be the extra in my life to tell me about the road ahead and where the paths are going to take me? In the show where I'm the main character I'd really like to know - what happens next season. It seems like every decision is hanging in the balance of this weird, summer break hiatus, where I'm paralyzed to finalize anything.

The season finale before this break was magical. After years of hilarious single girl sitcom antics, I married the Chandler to my Monica in a beautiful setting and went off on my honeymoon. But now what?

Thinking we had all things figured out, we started looking into purchasing our first home as the next step. Yet after a lot of stress and even more heartache we reached a dead end and decided we needed to take a step back and re-evaluate. Its been three months and now I feel at a standstill. Part of me yells "the markets great, interest is amazing, you're ready to do it" yet the other part says "wait it out, save some money, get secure and try next year". Not knowing which way is right, I sit stagnant hoping the right decision will come to me.

THE question every newly married couple without a plan hates - are you guys trying for a baby? are you pregnant yet? when are you getting pregnant? Worse yet, imagine when you can list off the close friends of yours who ARE currently pregnant. Baby fever has swept my entire social circle and I sit here unable to know what to do next. Not because its the cool thing to do but because we're going to be so good at it. Seeing my husband holding his 8 month old nephew, or playing with the 7 year old son of a friend, my heart explodes with "yep, lets do this NOW!". Whats better than having a kid with a built in group of friends around you - there is so much love there its hard to ignore.

So do I let nature take its course? Leave it to nature, science and fate so I know it was meant to be when it happens? We're so ready on so many levels. Of course, I could always freak out and live in constant paranoia about getting pregnant knowing that we don't yet have the house and keep worrying about the little things until I think it to death? The inability to pick a side, and stick with it, is so much worse than just knowing whats best. I swear every time it comes up my position is changed.

So without knowing how to write the script on the next season of my life I find it fast approaching. If you're a psychic with an interest in following me around as a non-paid extra I'm now accepting resumes ;)